Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
