well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
