it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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