You smell like stripper and shame
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
