my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
