No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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