I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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