Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
