loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
