this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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