Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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