I just pynch a tree in the face
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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