There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
