Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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