is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize