And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
