can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
