Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
