dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
