Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
