I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
