sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
