at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
