i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just cut my nipple shaving
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
