very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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