Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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