did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
