this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
