You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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