also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
