It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
