The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
