I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
