Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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