two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
