Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
