I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
