If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
