I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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