I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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