That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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