i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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