I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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