Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
