She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
