Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
