I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
