i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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