Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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