Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
