I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize