i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
