what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
