Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
