If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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