hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
